Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
