You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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