it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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