Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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