Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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