Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
