She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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