Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
