he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
