WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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