never play flip cup with pint glasses
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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