ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
