Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
