So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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