I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
