you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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