Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
