i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
