I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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