You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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