idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
