u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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