She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
party gras won. party gras always wins.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
