He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
