you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
