Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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