She is in my trunk
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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