mondays should just be called national damage control day
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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