Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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