This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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