dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Actions speak louder than pants.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can't turn off my feet"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
