She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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