I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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