i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
