Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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