jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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