This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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