Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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