Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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