Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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