apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
As shirtless as possible
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
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