Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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