I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
