Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
not ubering you a puppy
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
