But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
