Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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