the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
