Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
