There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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