So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
is that a dick in a sweater?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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